By Dr. Dana Corriveau
Managing up is the practice of strategically managing your relationship with your principal to create better outcomes for everyone involved, including you, your school or district, and the people you serve.
It’s about understanding your principal’s priorities, communication style, pressures, and needs, then adapting your approach to work more effectively within that reality. It’s not desirable, but it is sometimes necessary to maintain your leadership motivation … and mental health.
What Managing Up is NOT
It’s not manipulation. You’re not trying to trick or deceive your principal. You’re being intentional about communication and collaboration.
It’s not sucking up. Managing up isn’t about flattery or being a yes-person. It’s about professional effectiveness.
It’s not doing your boss’s job for them. While you might help your principal be more successful, you’re not covering for incompetence or doing their work.
It’s not being inauthentic. You can manage up while staying true to your values and maintaining your integrity.
It’s not accepting mistreatment. Managing up is a professional strategy, not a tolerance for abuse or unethical behavior.
What Managing Up Actually Looks Like
This takes some knowing about your principal as a person and as a leader, which can be difficult if the relationship is already strained. It’s likely you will have to be proactive and do your best to “take the high road” to get to know them.
Understanding your principal’s perspective. What keeps them up at night? What does success look like from their seat? When you understand their context, you can frame your ideas and concerns in ways that resonate.
Adapting to their communication style. Some principals want detailed emails. Others prefer quick face-to-face updates. Others want to be involved in problem-solving. Managing up means learning these preferences and working within them, even if they’re different from your natural style.
Proactively communicating. Rather than waiting for your principal to ask for updates or discover problems, you anticipate what they need to know and when. You make sure there are no surprises that could embarrass them in front of the superintendent or the school board.
Making your principal successful. You look for opportunities to make their job easier, like taking projects off their plate and providing information they need for district meetings. When your principal succeeds, you typically benefit too.
Solving problems, not just presenting them. Instead of just bringing issues to your principal, you come with analysis and proposed solutions. “We have a problem with hallway behavior between 3rd and 4th period” becomes “We have a problem with hallway behavior between 3rd and 4th period. I’ve observed this transition, and I think it’s because too many students are passing through the same corridor at once. I’d like to propose staggering dismissal times by one minute for rooms on the west wing. What do you think?”
Building trust over time. You demonstrate reliability by following through on commitments, handling your responsibilities well, and being honest even when it’s uncomfortable.
Picking your battles. You distinguish between issues worth pushing back on and issues where you can defer to your principal’s judgment. This means when you do advocate strongly for something, your principal knows it genuinely matters.
Reading the room. You develop the ability to gauge when your principal is receptive to new ideas versus when they’re stressed and need space. You understand when to press an issue and when to let it breathe.
Real World Example
Not Managing Up: “I don’t think our suspension policy is working. We keep suspending the same kids over and over. We need to try something different.”
Managing Up: “I’ve been looking at our discipline data. We’ve had 47 suspensions this semester, but 65% involve the same 12 students. I know reducing chronic absenteeism is a district priority, and these suspensions contribute to that. I’ve researched restorative practices used successfully elsewhere. Would you be open to a pilot proposal?”
See the difference? The second approach:
- Shows you’ve done your homework
- Uses data rather than feelings
- Connects to your principal’s known priorities
- Comes with a proposed solution, not just a complaint
- Anticipates their concerns (you’re ready with data from other schools)
So How Do You Know?
Not every principal-AP relationship requires intensive “managing up.” In healthy partnerships, you collaborate naturally, communicate openly, and share leadership without constantly calculating your next move.
First, let’s establish what healthy looks like so you can recognize when you don’t have it:
- Your principal seeks your input and genuinely considers it
- You can disagree respectfully and it doesn’t create lasting tension
- You receive both positive feedback and constructive criticism
- Your principal trusts you with significant responsibilities
- Communication flows easily in both directions
- Mistakes are treated as learning opportunities, not character flaws
If this describes your relationship, count your blessings. You still need to communicate well and be professional, but you don’t need the strategic, careful approach that “managing up” implies.
Recognizing the Signs
Yellow Flags (Caution: Start Paying Attention)
These signs suggest the relationship needs some attention, though it may not be in crisis. But you need to prevent things from deteriorating:
Communication becomes one-sided. You’re always initiating conversations, sending updates, and seeking feedback, but you rarely hear from your principal unless there’s a problem.
You’re surprised by their reactions. You think a decision will be well-received, and they’re upset, or vice versa. You’re having trouble predicting what matters to them.
You’re excluded from decisions in your domain. They make calls about discipline, scheduling, or other areas you typically handle without consulting you.
Feedback is vague or contradictory. You’re told to “take more initiative,” but then criticized when you do. Or you receive feedback that seems to shift based on their mood.
They seem threatened by you. When you accomplish something significant, they take credit, minimize it, or find fault with some aspect of it.
Your ideas are consistently dismissed or ignored. Not every suggestion will be implemented, but if your input is routinely disregarded without discussion, that’s a problem.
Red Flags (Active Managing Up Required)
These signs indicate a relationship that needs serious attention and strategic navigation:
Your stomach drops when you see their name on your phone. Physical anxiety responses like tension, nausea, or dread when you need to interact with your principal signal that something is seriously wrong.
You’re walking on eggshells constantly. You find yourself rehearsing conversations, second-guessing every decision, and trying to predict their moods before approaching them.
Goalpost moving. No matter what you do, it’s not quite right. Expectations seem to change without notice, and you can never seem to satisfy them.
Information is withheld. You find out about important decisions, meetings, or initiatives after everyone else, or not at all. You’re deliberately kept out of the loop.
Your professional growth is blocked. They don’t support your attendance at conferences, discourage you from taking on visible projects, or fail to advocate for your advancement.
Gaslighting behaviors. They deny conversations that occurred, claim you misunderstood clear directives, or rewrite history to make you doubt your own perception of events.
The Bottom Line
Here’s what you need to understand: if you’re in a situation that requires managing up, it’s not a reflection of your inadequacy as a leader. Sometimes, exceptional assistant principals find themselves working for principals whose leadership style, insecurities, or circumstances create challenging dynamics. Your ability to navigate that reality skillfully is actually a mark of professional maturity.
That said, managing up has limits. It’s a strategy for working effectively within difficult circumstances, not a permanent solution to a fundamentally broken relationship. But for many assistant principals, thoughtful managing up can transform a strained relationship into a workable one. It can buy you time to grow professionally, build credibility in your district, and position yourself for the next opportunity.
So pay attention. Notice the signs.
You’ve got this. And you’re not alone in navigating these challenges.
Dana Corriveau, Ph.D., is a Certified Executive Coach with DCorr Executive Coaching.
