The following article was written by Martin Silverman.
Educators are natural helpers. We step in, solve problems, organize materials, settle disagreements, choose groups, repeat directions, and keep the day moving. Much of that comes from good intentions. We want children to be safe, successful, included, and engaged.
But sometimes, in our effort to help, we unintentionally do too much for students.
When adults make every decision, solve every conflict, and manage every routine, children may become more dependent on adult direction. They may wait for someone else to choose, fix, remind, or rescue. Over time, this can limit the very skills we most want them to develop: confidence, responsibility, self-reliance, communication, decision-making, and resilience.
Letting students lead does not mean adults step away. It means adults step back just enough for students to step forward.
The goal is not less leadership. It is more intentional leadership. Adults still set clear boundaries, teach expectations, ensure safety, and provide support. But within those boundaries, students need regular opportunities to make decisions, try solutions, take responsibility, and learn from manageable challenges.
One practical strategy is to offer choice within boundaries. The adult sets the structure; the child makes a decision inside it. For example, instead of choosing every activity, an adult might say, “You may choose basketball, board games, or reading.” Instead of solving a disagreement immediately, the adult might say, “You may try to solve it together first. I’ll help if you get stuck.” These small choices build big skills.
A second strategy is to replace reminders with responsibilities. If adults find themselves repeatedly reminding children to do something, it may be time to turn that task into a student role. Equipment manager, snack helper, cleanup captain, kindness spotter, materials manager, game starter, rule checker, or new friend helper are all simple ways to shift ownership to students. Responsibility builds capacity.
A third strategy is to ask before solving. Instead of saying, “Stop arguing,” try, “What would be a fair way to solve this?” Instead of “I’ll pick the teams,” try, “How can we make teams fair and quick?” Instead of answering boredom with an adult-created solution, ask, “What are two choices you have?” or “What is your plan?” These questions teach students to think, communicate, and act with greater independence.
Of course, adults must step in immediately when there is a safety risk, bullying or humiliation, physical aggression, ongoing exclusion, or when a child does not yet have the skill to manage the situation. Independence grows best within safe, caring boundaries.
For school leaders, this idea applies beyond the classroom. We can ask our teams: What are we doing for students that we could be doing with them? Where are adults unintentionally taking over? Which routines, activities, transitions, or conflicts could become opportunities for student ownership?
The answer is not to abandon structure. The answer is to use structure to grow independence.
When students are given manageable choices, meaningful responsibilities, and guided opportunities to solve problems, they leave stronger than when they arrived. That is the heart of teaching, learning, and leadership: building students’ capacity by knowing when to lead, when to coach, and when to let them lead.
Martin Silverman is an early childhood consultant, author, and former elementary principal with more than 40 years of experience in education. He works with teachers, administrators, and early learning programs to strengthen instructional practices, leadership, and organizational culture, and is the author of “Little Learners, Big Potential: Guiding Early Learning with Purpose and Heart.”
